Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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