I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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