my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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