New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She bit a glass in half.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
