i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
