So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it glows. i had to have it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So much rum. So many feels.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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