I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
