I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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