what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I need moral support for this bender
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
