had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I need to calm my uterus...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
