Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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