I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
