people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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