yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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