He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
