No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
