yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
should my penis look like a turkey
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
