Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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