all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
