Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
