There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
