Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
