pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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