Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
