***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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