Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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