I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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