I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
