she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
