He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
