PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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