Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
