Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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