I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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