she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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