Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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