Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
