FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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