I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize