If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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