on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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