i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize