who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
