wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she smelled like a LAN party
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
