dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize