Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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