ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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