talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
