I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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