Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
