Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
