How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
