we have officially lost it.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Vodka?
Forever.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
