I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
