You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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