Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
