Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
