Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
