I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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