this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
